It's been 4 weeks since I gave birth to our adorable little son. He is keeping me so very busy that I have barely had time to shower, let alone keep up this blog. The nights are mostly good, but when they are bad, they are pull my hair out and grab a box of tissues bad. I wouldn't go so far as to say I have the baby blues, it's more like frustration mixed with sleep deprivation mixed with my arthritis coming back that has made cranky and weepy at the drop of a hat. I'm not depressed, sad or blue in general. It's reasonable to think anyone would get upset hearing a baby cry for an hour inconsolably.
My arthritis has been sneaking up on me. I finally stopped thinking that I was just sleeping weird and that's why my feet hurt to walk on in the morning, or that my hands hurt so bad because of all the holding for precise positioning while nursing, or the fact that I can sleep from 8pm to 7am (minus 3 hours for feeding, diapering, calming) and still be incredibly tired. I finally figured it out while pacing the floor at 3 am calming Dex down during a crying fit because my hip joint hurt when I moved it a certain way. The same movement that caused pain before I got pregnant, only now it's a bit more raw. Funny, but I felt stronger and more energetic the week after giving birth than I do now. I've doubled my meds and now it's a matter of waiting to see how bad this flare gets.
Postpartum has been okay other than the arthritis issue. I finally got my stretch marks 2 weeks after the birth. How cruel is that? I thought I had magically dodged that bullet only to wake up to the battle scars of pregnancy weeks after the war had ended. I even lost HALF of the weight I gained. I still weigh more than I ever have. That's a tough fact to face considering I worked really hard and lost a bunch of weight a few years ago. I also finally have the hang of breastfeeding too. I even nursed our son on the go a few times. I can't just let it all hang out yet, but give me a restroom or a secluded park bench and the breastaurant is open. Becoming a mother has given me many challenges to face. With the overcoming of each obstacle, I feel more empowered and more in touch with womanhood than I could ever have imagined.
