I took the kids roller skating for the first time recently. It was interesting to watch their different learning styles at play. Dexter put his skates on, started skating and fell. He got up and tried to skate fast and fell again. He would get a few feet and fall, but he would just get up again and try to skate again like he knew how to speed skate. He probably fell 40 times in the first hour, but he was doing pretty well by the end of the night. His method was to fail fast more often, but persistence will win.
He learns quickly and so it's less about the details for him. He wants to do everything fast and, if he likes it, will learn how to do it right through practice. He doesn't care about mistakes and sees them as part of the process. This is how he approaches learning new skills, and, even as an infant, he was a bit of a daredevil who embraced speed over safety.
My daughter was the complete opposite at learning to roller skate. She is younger, so she wanted help to learn. I held her hand and walked her around the rink. She was very slow and timid, but with a lot of patience and support she got the hang of it. She became braver and braver each time. She was soon barely holding my hand and then… she let go. She only fell once and still was skating the same as her brother by the end of the night. Her method was slow, methodical, and to steadily improve.
She is always a perfectionist. She won't admit to knowing unless she's an expert. I know many women that have this ingrained into them. She won't acknowledge that she can read unless she definitely knows the word. When she learned to walk, she took a little longer, but barely fell once she started walking. That's just her personality. She doesn't like to guess. She likes to know. She will get to the same result, but she has to be sure of herself.
I find this difference a fascinating exploration into the human psyche. These little people are so opposite in personality and yet reflect their parents like little mirrors. My husband is quick to say he can do whatever he wants to do, even if he's never done it before. He is comfortable in not knowing and just figuring it out along the way. He has lived a life that has always thrown the worst punches, but he's always gotten back up and is probably the most persistent person I know.
Me, heh, well I don't like to say I know how to do something unless I definitely know. I know I can learn, but I am saddled with self doubt. I need support to feel like it's okay to learn. I need that extra guiding hand to make sure I don't fail at first because it shakes my confidence. I will get to the same result, but I don't like to fail along the way.
I have learned so much about myself watching these little people grow up. I used to say that the one person you're always around that you'll never be able to meet is yourself. You can never see how other people view you. Kids give a certain insight into those ingrained pieces of personality. It is comforting to see these puzzling pieces in action and then be able to rationalize through how to help them - only to learn how to help yourself in the process.
