There's nothing like that first utterance of that special sentence. It came from the lips of my sweet little boy a couple days ago. It's so sickeningly cute. Couple that with a big hug and the fact that every time he sees himself in a mirror, he kisses his reflection. It's disgusting. I actually said that I'd have a million of them (kids) if they stayed this cute. I'm glad he throws tantrums because it brings me back to reality.
Dexter has been a social butterfly the past couple of days with 2 playdates and a neighborhood play group. I only took him to the play group today though. It was fun. It's the first time my schedule and the weather cooperated for several months. The kids are starting to take more interest in each other. I haven't seen some of them for 6 months, so they've all changed so much! They all have more hair and are walking and talking. Dexter kept me on the run for 90% of the time, so I didn't get to chat too much. He was crawling all over the play structures, even taking a car that was half his size with him up the steps. He was crawling up the slide the wrong way and pretty much making me nail-biting nervous for an hour and a half. I don't take him to the playground that often, and it was the first time we went to that one since he's gotten so mobile. We had to leave though when Dexter saw some kids little tricycle he wanted, so I picked him up to take him to the other side of the playground. He screamed bloody murder and threw a huge tantrum. I was saying goodbye the best I could to a friend and he screamed in her little girl's face so loud and direct that it scared her. Dexter has a knack for screaming and scaring other kids.
So tantrums… Dexter throws big ones. It seems like I'm the only one who he feels comfortable enough to let me witness the fury he can put out. No one else, not dad or the nanny, get to experience it – lucky me. He's not 2 yet, but he's getting good practice at it. I do my best to remain calm and not get embarrassed. It's no one's fault. It just happens because he's becoming his own little autonomous self. Sometimes he's just overwhelmed with emotions that he doesn't know how to handle, or else he wants something outside of the boundaries. I was so mystified, that I got a book about discipline for toddlers. I learned a lot from it, so I'm trying to make sure to evaluate how I'm dealing with the situation. I'm trying to set boundaries and discipline him with developmentally appropriate methods like distraction. It's just things like respecting the fact that ripping something out of his hands is not showing model behavior and I wouldn't like that done to me either, so asking for it and enticing him to give it to me is a much better approach and hasn't, thus far, resulted in a tantrum.
I've decided against spanking. Both me and Mr. Cobra were raised with spanking as the norm, but I slapped Dexter's hand once (not hard) and it just didn't feel right to me. I remember having debates over spanking with a couple of girlfriends a while back and I was totally pro spanking… then I had a son. I'm not upset about people who spank their kids. It's a totally valid punishment that has been handed down through the ages. I just want something different for Dexter. I've never been one to go with the flow, but because I wasn't raised with time outs I need to create my own system of discipline. That's a difficult task.
Which brings me to my next realization about becoming a parent, my head is now full of baby knowledge. I no longer have the headspace to dedicate to the latest celebrity gossip, movies, and pop culture in general. I used to have hours to devote to that and now I don't. One of our employees pretty much prides himself on knowing all of the above. You can ask him about who dated who 2 years ago and what movies they starred in and he'll know. That's a fantastic skill to have when single. The art of conversation and small talk belongs to people without young children. I used to think I was just obsessed, but now I think it's just that it's like taking a master's course that sucks up all available brain power for a few years. I'm not anti-social. I'm the parent of a 17 month old.
